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Sep 29 • Siri Chand Khalsa MD

From Cocoon to Flight: Exploring Change in a Medical Career

Hi! I'm Siri Chand 

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A Chance Encounter


Recently, I found myself running into the same couple on two consecutive nights—coincidence? I don’t think so. As we paused to chat, we discovered a shared love of terriers with the most lovable contradictions in temperament—all bark and bite on a walk tempered by next-level coziness at home. The sofa pics are next-level. 

But it was their story about their dog who had died that truly captured the magic held in this moment. In the season after the beloved terrier's passing, their backyard had become a nursery for Monarch butterflies, hosting the intricate movement of cocoons to chrysalis. As they shared this, it became quiet, each of us sensing the ethereal connection between their dear dog and these delicate creatures – a reminder that love and life find new expressions in unexpected ways.

A New Way of Thinking About Change In A Medical Career

After we finished the walk, I couldn't stop thinking about how powerfully energy and matter transform life. Change is a constant we often don't acknowledge. Since I'm knee-deep in a transformational journey, I thought about how the energy of this message might be something to pass on.

Several projects have come to light in the last year after periods of very long pauses in my clinical career. 

However, despite the well-formed ideas, the energy to market and "sell" these projects was not as prominent. Somewhere along the way, I began to embody the idea that creating an offer draws from a different part within us than selling this offer, and something began to click. It's not to say that we can't innovate constantly; however, as I have explored over the last year, embracing cycles in our development might be one of the most important things I have considered. This is especially true as I have been navigating long COVID, where flares can make working next to impossible for a few days.


Letting go of an old identity can be one of the most confusing times of a medical career.

Dissolving and Letting Go

As I kept walking with Amar Atma and our terrier, Teddy, soaking in the glorious sunset, butterflies swirled around us in a dance with the light, and an idea started to talk to me. As someone reinventing what to use with my medical training, we often find ourselves on a cyclical journey reminiscent of a monarch butterfly's transformation. What will be next? To resist this cycle is problematic. This transformational journey resembles the Monarch's and consists of three primary phases: growing, melting, and flying. I'm not including the caterpillar time in this essay because I think how we acquire knowledge differs from what I want to share today. For brevity, let's say the caterpillar time is when we are nibbling up new expertise and walking the path of learning. 

Understanding this cycle can help us navigate the challenges of change with greater ease and authenticity. Firstly, I want to point out that we often see images of the nondescript cocoon and assume an inner stillness. However, I want to talk about what is happening inside the cocoon. The near-total dissolution of the previous identity to a slurry of pluripotent cells then begins a migration into something completely different. A miracle is in front of us as that happens, which is why I think the notion of the butterfly has captured the imagination of scientists and sages alike. 

It is not a new fascination for me either. In college, I was intrigued by the intricacies of this cycle and even had a series of watercolor sketches in which I thought about us as humans in that same rhythm. Forgive the old copy of this painting and its primitive technique, but somehow, I have always had a deep connection to the value of understanding the cycles of life. 

Later, as I studied Ayurveda, I learned that most Westerners struggle to understand and embrace natural rhythms and cycles. But nature also patiently waited for me to learn and explore more deeply at each phase of my life.

"Nature also patiently waited for me to learn and explore more deeply at each phase of my life."

Moving Through the Slurry Phase

This is when there is a knock at the door that change is coming; it gradually becomes a loud reckoning. I've noticed that it varies for each person; however, no matter where the inner knowing comes from, it is an invitation for change.

In that moment, there is an understanding, or perhaps even a realization, that life will shift, whether in a relationship, job, business venture, creative output, or family dynamic. 

Maybe you are the black sheep in your family—the one who lives an unconventional life, like training for 30 years to practice medicine innovatively and then leaving it to pursue an entrepreneurial journey. No one agreed with my decision to stop my clinical practice, but there was more at stake for me than for them. I knew I needed a significant shift independent of what might have felt easy. 

When that inner call begins to wake up, we can be sure that with it comes a process of letting go. Unraveling from our previous identity and setting out on an uncharted course feels vaguely familiar yet entirely foreign at the same time.

The fantasy is that when this happens, we can dissolve the past quickly and jump into the new identity with ease, clarity, and immediate success. And while this does happen for a small percentage of people, over time, for most of us, there comes a resounding acknowledgment that this shift in identity will take work.

Sitting with big emotions that are uncomfortable and “active nonaction” are cornerstones of this passage. By this, I mean choosing to change. And thus, as we disentangle from previous ideas, our old identity melts. Sometimes I think of it as the wicked witch in the wizard of oz screaming I’m melting as she slowly disappeared.

As we dissolve into the "slurry phase," akin to the butterfly's pluripotent cells beginning to activate, we develop a sense of intention for a future that begins to take shape. This phase brings not a loss of purpose or intention but a loss of identity. 
Letting ourselves surrender into a more profound integration in this passage can be new territory, perhaps even one happening at the soul level, allowing for the most profound transformation to emerge. It's a passage where we can reinvent ourselves (our business) and much more. Instead of holding onto the past, there can be a revelation guided by trust in what is to come.

And while this “dark era” enshrouded in mystery seems to go on indefinitely, there does come the point where ideas and potential begin to take shape. Where form again emerges, and a different identity is apparent to us. Few things in nature, like the caterpillar metamorphosis, give us this transparent model of what is possible when we sit in the slurry phase. And while this time of uncertainty can be filled with fear and anxiety about what is yet to come, hope and perseverance for what is yet to be intermingled this time. 

The invitation to the "slurry phase" is not recognized or celebrated in our cult” yet I feel it is one of the most essential parts of our life journey. If we look at it practically from a medical career side, there is much to consider. 

How rare is the option of leaving clinical responsibilities for days at a time, let alone taking a sabbatical?" However, surrendering to this time allows innovation and new insights to emerge. And while it is not for the faint of heart, I believe it is filled with a divine embrace. Very few people will understand our embrace of your change. 
This is when everyone you know looks at you a little concerned or reserved when they ask, "How are you doing?", unsure if they want the answer. If only we could tell them, "I am in the slurry phase," and see their eyes light up, knowing what is yet to come.

And while that is not entirely living in the present moment, hope is essential to any feminine transformation.
  >The hope that our creative process yields beauty. 
  >The hope is that our investment at this time will not harm others. 
  >The hope that we are not going to get stuck here.
  >The hope is that we will, in turn, inspire others.

The Transition: When Flight Feels Impossible

As we move from the slurry phase to growing winds and flight, we often encounter thoughts around our "failure to launch." This is the point where many people get stuck. We question if we're truly ready to fly, if our wings are strong enough to carry us, or if all this effort we have poured into our project will have any meaningful outcome. Recognizing this as a natural part of the process is a necessary gear shift in the journey.

Suppose we consider this from a business side. In that case, it is challenging at best to market in the slurry and transition phases, and it's alluring to believe that our lack of “results” from this phase of the process is a sure sign of what will happen with our creative process. While the quiet might feel like a sign of things to come, remember that your idea is still evolving - it's no wonder others can't quite connect with a vision you're still uncovering yourself.

After all, we have never known what having wings or flying feels like. And we have certainly never seen ourselves with wings.

The dawn of your new self arrives, yet your wings - the essence of your transformation - remain folded and untried. Trust wavers in this moment of emergence, but intertwined with uncertainty is an unshakeable belief in the journey you've begun.

Feeling perhaps heavy with ideas or potential in this phase is normal. Sometimes, we have trusted so profoundly in the transformation that, in our surrender, we don't know or understand the outcome either. These big ideas sit upon our backs like wings. Isn't it miraculous to think about how nature can teach us about business? 

Crafting business plans and launching websites are viable activities at this stage, but be prepared for a more profound sense of purpose to unfold as your ideas mature. As you engage with the world, transformation becomes unavoidable. Be cautious about reading too much into early feedback; it's expected, but often misleading, to view these initial responses as absolute predictors of your venture's potential.

During this transition, it's tempting to:
  > Change our offer
  > Redesign our website
  > Throw money at marketing solutions
  > Seek external validation

But here's the deal: don't take the bait. These actions often stem from fear rather than wisdom.

The Power of Pause: Lessons from the Butterfly's First Flight

In nature, a butterfly's emergence from its chrysalis offers an important reflection for entrepreneurs. When a butterfly breaks free from the cocoon, its wings are not immediately ready for flight. They're soft, crumpled, and vulnerable, and it doesn't immediately take to the skies; instead, it pauses. It pumps fluid into its wings, allowing them to expand and harden. This process can take hours; even then, the butterfly waits for the right conditions - warmth and light - before attempting its first flight.

In our transformational journey, we often face similar moments of pause and pushback. The world might seem to demand immediate action, urging us to launch before we're truly ready. But like the butterfly, we need these moments of apparent inactivity. They're not signs of failure or lack of progress but crucial periods of internal development. We're pumping our 'wings' full of knowledge, refining our ideas, and gathering strength. Interacting with the elements gives us new reflection and pause. 

The pushback we feel - self-doubt, market resistance, or external skepticism - is akin to the butterfly testing its wings against the air for the first time. It's not a signal to retreat but a natural part of the process, helping us refine and strengthen our approach. So when you feel stuck or face resistance, remember the butterfly. Pause if you need to. Use that time to develop and fortify your ideas. Wait for the right conditions. And when you're ready, when your wings are strong and the moment is right, you'll be prepared to fly and mingle with the most beautiful nectar in the flowers surrounding you.

Embracing the Gearshift as We Move Through Our Medical Careers

Instead of rushing through this transition, we need time to warm our wings in the sun. 

This means:
  > Acknowledging the shift is happening
  > Trusting that the creative portion of your project will inform the iterative process
  > Resisting the urge to tinker endlessly with your offer
  > Understanding that vulnerability is a natural part of sharing your work with the world

The Creation Phase: Spreading Your Wings

The creation phase is where our ideas take flight. It's a time of inspiration, passion, and visibility. Oddly, while filled with darkness, the cocoon phase may now feel more comforting than it did in the dark when no one was watching us. But honey, we must get to the next sharing phase, or that emerging energy will become an albatross.

At this time, it is expected to start to see a shift in the beliefs about what is next. 

There may be stages of feedback and success. We can feel energized and full of potential, eager to bring our unique offerings to the world. But fear can be present at this time as well. After all, it might be quite different from the ease of working with a panel of patients eager to get our help and for whom there is no limit of need. Making a shift means connecting with the world in unclear and unknown ways. And being in this interval also means that the energy to sell our offer is now readily present. And this shift may even involve fully retiring. 

The Power of Cycles

Remember, like the symbolic nature held in the monarch butterfly cycle, you'll go through this journey more than once. Each creative phase will bring new inspiration and passion, and each crisis will offer opportunities for growth and refinement. As Brené Brown wisely suggests, bringing your whole heart into the process is key. This means embracing both the excitement of creation and the discomfort of transition. It means allowing for rest, intuition, and natural progression rather than forcing constant productivity.

The Vulnerability Hangover
Let's touch on another nuance of this evolution. Unveiling this journey to the world often brings a wave of vulnerability. This 'vulnerability hangover,' a common experience “post-launch”, is entirely normal. Acknowledging it as part of the journey can ease the transition. Consider the butterfly's perspective: once a humble caterpillar that barely turned heads, it now expands wings that captivate all who see them—quite a shift in attention and perception.

By understanding and respecting the Monarch Cycle, we can approach our entrepreneurial journey with more patience and self-compassion. Allow your emotional intelligence to guide you through each phase. Trust in our natural progression, just as the monarch trusts in its innate ability to evolve and fly. 

Remember, true success comes not from perfection but from allowing your authentic self to shine through in all phases of your journey.

Flow with Emotional Intelligence

As we navigate this analogy of the Monarch Cycle, we learn to flow with our emotional intelligence. We recognize that each phase - from the dissolving of old identities in the slurry phase through the vulnerable moments of transition to the exhilarating yet scary moments of first flight - is integral to our growth as entrepreneurs.

Just as the butterfly's wings need time to dry and harden before flight, our ideas and ventures need time to mature and strengthen. The pauses, doubts, and moments of recalibration are not setbacks but essential parts of our journey. They allow us to integrate our experiences, refine our vision, and gather the strength needed for sustainable success.

By embracing these cycles, we cultivate resilience. We learn to trust the process, even when it feels uncomfortable or uncertain. 

We understand that transformation is not a linear path but a series of expansions and contractions, bringing us closer to our true potential.

So, as you embark on or continue your transformational journey, remember the wisdom of the monarch butterfly. Allow yourself the time to transform fully. Embrace the pauses as opportunities for growth. And when the time comes to spread your wings, do so with the full force of your authentic self, ready to navigate whatever winds come your way.
In doing so, you're building a business and engaging in a profound act of self-realization and creative expression. And that, dear entrepreneur, is the true essence of success in this beautiful, challenging, and infinitely rewarding journey we call entrepreneurship.
Set Aside time to explore this more 

Tips to explore more:

It's Not Just A Cognitive Process
Keep an "emotion journal" for a week, noting how your feelings influence your business decisions.
In your next brainstorming session, practice active listening in your body. Focus on where you feel your emotions as you consider key decisions.

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A clinician qualified in integrative and lifestyle medicine typically holds a professional healthcare degree, such as MD, DO, NP, or PA, and has received additional training and certification in integrative and lifestyle medicine approaches; however, this is not essential.  This specialized training combines conventional medical practices with evidence-based, holistic methods that consider the spectrum of physical, emotional, environmental, and nutritional factors affecting health.

Certification might be obtained through reputable organizations such as the American Board of Integrative Medicine (ABOIM) or the American College of Lifestyle Medicine (ACLM). These clinicians are trained to use a variety of therapeutic approaches, including diet and nutrition, physical activity, stress management, and other non-pharmacological methods to prevent, treat, and often reverse chronic diseases. Their practice emphasizes patient-centered care, where the patient and practitioner are partners in healing.

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